daddyville

I didn't know what to expect or how exactly I would feel as this night unfolded. Frankly, I was surprised as I sat on the couch and noticed around midnight that I was starting to feel a little antsy. It was not really all that 'pleasant'--nor did I expect it would be. What I can liken it to most would be a muted version of a panic attack--No, not pleasant at all! I had to talk myself out of this thing that was happening to me. I realized right away that it was not my conscious mind that was doing this. It was a very strong auto-pilot program that was controlling me at that moment. I had to willfully breathe deeply a rhythmic succession of breaths as I pulled out my phone and quickly texted my daughter's friend's mother to make sure that everything was going fine. She replied that it was and that they were all having a great time. I knew that was true down deep in my gut even before I texted her......"so why all this panic", I am asking myself? "Great", I think to myself, "THIS is the part of all this that is no fun whatsoever. This is what all the parents warn you about when they talk about the 'cons' of your little kids growing up.

Oh well. It's going to happen no matter. I suppose I can only become friends with it. :) Not only that, but it's bound to increase in it's challenge of intensity as is obvious.

Once again, I sit here realizing that we have just crossed yet another 'parental-right-of-passage'.

"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream".......