Having Compassion On Your Parents

             There nothing (in my current opinion) that inspires a stronger sense of compassion for your parents and all they did---blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifices for you-- than raising a child of your own. If one has ever harbored any sense of blame (which I have not!) toward one's parents,  this experience would single handedly wipe that pretty much clean,...If you let it. :)
              Mom, I Thank You So Much for what you did for me!! I am humbled by the thought of all that you went through. It brings tears to my eyes to think of those hardships, some I remember, but many I do not (blocking it out?) although we both went 'through' them. Thank you for going the distance, so that I can be here today, knowing you and smiling into your eyes, loving you. It means the world to me; the choices you made were perfect and fine. Sure, many were challenging, but that's Life Itself, isn't it? You are and were always a Good Mom---Know that. My mom was a single parent. She's a Super Mom alright! She had to make sacrifices X2! Folks, that's hard stuff. I can tell you that and I was just the kid. Imagine how it was for her. Some of you know, having done it yourself. God Bless you.
             I have to preface what I have to say next with telling you that my mom has always said that I was a good kid. She has never went back on that although I have asked the question "Was I?", many times since and her answer has always been the same, "You were a great kid (period!)!" No disclaimer has ever been added. When I got into my teens that 'great kid' shine had it's days of tarnish for sure as I distinctly remember her telling me, "When you grow up, I pity the person who's going to live with you Sean because you are hard to live with"! I must tell you that right around that time I was also taking some psych courses in high school and that I was Really excited about it and loving the study. We were studying all kinds mental pathologies and so, of course I'd come home and want to practice my diagnostic abilities on my mom. She was not too keen on that, even though I was just trying to 'help' her. I'd say, "Well today, it looks like your experiencing a little bit of this ______ disorder and judging by the way you're sounding right now, it might also be a little of ______." Needless to say, it was not very well received. What a surprise! Lol! In those days, when I was between 16-18 yrs. old, there weren't many conversations between us that Did go well. Fortunately we got through that and got closer again.
             I think life has a funny way of re-teaching you things via your kids that you might have somehow missed on the first run-through yourself. It's funny how it works, I think, but very thorough. Life doesn't 'miss' anything.
              Mom, I'm not sure if these words were ever quoted by you or not, but they could've well have been. (I know Bill Cosby said them at least once.) I'm sure that they have been by many parents to their kids, but here they are echoing in mind, "I hope that when you grow up you have kids that are Just like you." I smile when I think of this because it's just parents wanting you to see the flip side of the coin. It's hard and they want you to see what it is like to be on the other side of the equation--to be in Their Shoes...for once.  ......"Hi Mom!  (Waving and Smiling from the 'other side') I'd have to say you got your wish. Shayla is just like me. Yep, 'fraid so. Maybe that means I can know a little of what to expect? Hmmm, maybe a little. But I was a good kid, right? (laughing)" By the way, I do have a great child, but saying that she can be stubborn would be putting it mildly on some days.
             Being a parent is a hard job and parents do the best they can with what they 'have' (in some cases they don't 'have' much in the way of those internal and/or external resources). Maybe their judgment is poor at times or their self-discipline weak at times, but they still deserve compassion, forgiveness, and respect for the enormity of the job itself.
         Thank You Mom, I Love You.



Comments

Hey Sean! Waving at you from the other side of that coin...what you'll learn in the years to come is that Shayla will always be your little girl, just as you are still my boy even though you are 42 years old and the development that you see now with Shayla will continue as does your's, hence your post(s). I exclaim here for all the world to read, that you were a great kid. No backtracking, no disclaimer needed! Parents do the best they can at the time and of course as we go from raising a child to developing a relationship with the adult who was our child we're in some ways not much wiser, though we'd like to think we are! I look forward to our continuing relationship and to watch, through your eyes this time, the raising of Miss Shayla. I know Shayla will be just fine with all the wisdom and knowledge you have to share with her and I know you'll be just fine too. You'll do the fire walk that is parenthood and come out on the other side feeling like you can do anything! Thanks for all the sweet things you've said to me both publicly and privately. I love you very much!
Love this post!

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