I get it now.
I see my daughter and I see the person that she is becoming and I smile. I genuinely smile.
Being her father is an opportunity. An opportunity to see myself as an outside agency, as a caretaker, as a person who is shepherding another.
I see the person that I am and that is one side of it and I also see the person that she is--the part of her that is a person all on her own, a separate person from me.
I see my 'good' effects on another and I see the 'shadow' that I make as well.
It's like the line in that movie 'Parental Guidance' where Bette Midler is playing the Grandmother to the kids in the film and she says to her daughter ""You guys are trying to be the perfect parents and the thing is, there aren't any."" She says this because it seems that nothing that she and her husband, Billy Crystal, playing the 'Grandfather' in the film--does, falls into good favor by the parent's 'new age' ethos of parental etiquette in the 21st. Century. It's a great movie and an excellent barrel of laughs for parents and grandparents alike: everyone will relate.
Parenting is good for the soul. Sure, it's hard and it's humbling, and so insanely beautiful. It will show you the truth and in the process of that divine intervention into your life, you will see a kind of beauty that is untold, except in those old diaries and journals of last decade's couch potatoes who are no longer chic or fashion-runway ready, but who possess a ruddy honesty and a deep love for all that is good and whole in life and mostly, they are happy in that. They have that kernel inside them "where rust doth not corrupt or where thieves break through and steal" and they are at peace in that. It is a gleaming diamond inside their chest and despite outward appearances, they are rich. This is a diamond forged under pressure just like those in nature...and pressure purifies. Do not be fooled by appearances. The things that are most precious in life cannot be bought or usually even seen. This is Love. This is Life. This is what it means to be a Parent. The priceless things in life are the bonds that we have between each other, the love that we feel for those we love.
These are the things that matter.
Love is what remains when everything else is gone. Love is the Alpha and the Omega. Everything else is just a placeholder waiting for the day when we realize the true value of things.
The Children Open Our Eyes to This Truth.
Amen, Mitakuye Owasin, Namaste