Now, my four year old openly tells me that she prefers mommy over me. I know that these things shift around with a fair amount of regularity. They already have during her four young years up to this point. I ask myself why. The best things that I can come up with are two primary reasons: 1. I don't play 'dolls' often enough with her. I have to admit that it's hard for me to have a great deal of longevity when it comes to animal and doll roll-playing games. I'm good for 10 minutes or so here and there, but that's about it. I am more inclined to play kiddie learning games with her on her iPod touch and while she enjoys those, it's really the games of make believe that enthrall her the most. I wonder if I am just a defunct father when it comes to 4 year old barbie doll games or that I just don't have the amount of active interest and imagination that is required? I keep telling myself that I will be glad when she grows past 'certain stages'--namely the ones that keep us on the floor talking about whose pony likes sugar and whose prefers stevia in their imaginary tea that we have just made. I know all too well that these days will later be revealed to be the 'days of innocence' when just about anything would delight her fancy, and yet, try as I might to convince myself, I still look forward to the days when I will sit with her and talk about more complex subject matters and be able to understand her responses as well as not have to answer the basic "why, why, why?" about everything under the sun. I really don't like to talk that much about why the moon is round and why dogs are brown and why some have spots while others don't, and whether all that is 'fair' or not. Why not? Because I just don't know the answers to these and 100s of other mystical science questions. Go figure. One day she'll discover that her daddy is not a walking encyclopedia, and when she does, then she'll be reciting Google search results to me, and believe it or not...at that point I'll totally be into it. 'I think' anyway, that I'll be glad to be allowed to come off of the 'God' podium at that time as long as I don't become a miniature of my former self. Time will tell, right? .......Right. It Certainly will. (smile) I hope I am not a 'bad daddy' for thinking these things. I don't think that I am, and I try to like coloring in Bugs Bunny with crayons, but I do look forward to the day when a drinking glass stays vertically placed on the table Throughout the Whole Meal (smiling again). But I know that you cannot pick and choose these things like a buffet lunch when it comes to the development of human beings. So, I'll take what I can get and hopefully make the most of what I get served, and make the intent of keeping the prayers strong all the while.
2. I tend to be the stricter parental archetype between her mother and myself. My dad calls this "being the 'heavy' ", and while it's necessary it does also have a social side within the family's community that sometimes puts me momentarily or not so momentarily in the 'less favorite' column simply by virtue of trimming down random acts of manipulation and keeping the boundaries shored up and consistent. I try to be balanced about this and let her 'get away' with a 'black op' or two every once in a while, but not enough to give her the wrong idea--namely, that we're not looking. Nonetheless, this makes me more of a noticeable figure in the 'less favorite' category from time to time. That's okay. I love her and if that's what sometimes happens, then I'm here to weather it, because unlike other random folks....... I'm Her Dad. ....Her Proud.....Her Happy......Dad.