The title of this is a sentiment that I repeat often to myself everyday. Of all the things that I have found most prominent for me to work on as a father, this one is at the top of the list and the most pertinent.
Patience is something that we all have the need to have in life, and yet there is never (in my mind) such a pressing need for it as when you are a parent, and coincidentally the place where it's absence will leave the starkest of voids. If it is not there in adequate supply, frustration and irritation will take it's place leaving your child to perhaps feel as if they are or have done something unacceptable.
This, for me, is a great concern, because of all things possible it is my intent to leave my child with the cleanest of impressions about themselves. These little people take so many things to heart and they cannot differentiate between our frustration with a situation and our feelings about them. Everything is personal. This, to me, is one of the biggest challenges of parenthood thus far. The learning curve for this is very steep, and it's difficulty is compounded when we are talking about a parent to child relationship. That relationship is complex and multi-faceted. We must work on ourselves, and at the same time work on ourselves in such a way as to consider how all this might appear to one who doesn't know any better, and is more susceptible to misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Also, the fallback interpretation of a child lands on them believing that they are somehow inadequate and have 'caused' the frustration in the firstplace, which in keeping things clear and accurate, is literally on the 'other side of the world' from the truth. The truth is that Mommy and/or Daddy are not finished 'growing up' and have a lot of work to do on themselves. How can you impart that to a pre-schooler?? You can't. You just have to get your act together. Are we ever finished learning about patience? Obviously not, and if you have a child (or children) your answer, having seen that aspect of life, sounds more like "Hell no" or "Never" because with this experience you see that it is never done. Life becomes more 'circular' than ever before. You never really thought it was a straight line, but through the act of raising another human being you see, as you have never seen before, that life is a kind of spiraling process that leads you through phases and changes, and that yes, you have to have patience with your own lack of patience and your learning process in that, and that hopefully, by the grace of God, all things will turn out well in the end because for the first time in your life, you realize, how imperfect you truly are.
Patience is something that we all have the need to have in life, and yet there is never (in my mind) such a pressing need for it as when you are a parent, and coincidentally the place where it's absence will leave the starkest of voids. If it is not there in adequate supply, frustration and irritation will take it's place leaving your child to perhaps feel as if they are or have done something unacceptable.
This, for me, is a great concern, because of all things possible it is my intent to leave my child with the cleanest of impressions about themselves. These little people take so many things to heart and they cannot differentiate between our frustration with a situation and our feelings about them. Everything is personal. This, to me, is one of the biggest challenges of parenthood thus far. The learning curve for this is very steep, and it's difficulty is compounded when we are talking about a parent to child relationship. That relationship is complex and multi-faceted. We must work on ourselves, and at the same time work on ourselves in such a way as to consider how all this might appear to one who doesn't know any better, and is more susceptible to misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Also, the fallback interpretation of a child lands on them believing that they are somehow inadequate and have 'caused' the frustration in the firstplace, which in keeping things clear and accurate, is literally on the 'other side of the world' from the truth. The truth is that Mommy and/or Daddy are not finished 'growing up' and have a lot of work to do on themselves. How can you impart that to a pre-schooler?? You can't. You just have to get your act together. Are we ever finished learning about patience? Obviously not, and if you have a child (or children) your answer, having seen that aspect of life, sounds more like "Hell no" or "Never" because with this experience you see that it is never done. Life becomes more 'circular' than ever before. You never really thought it was a straight line, but through the act of raising another human being you see, as you have never seen before, that life is a kind of spiraling process that leads you through phases and changes, and that yes, you have to have patience with your own lack of patience and your learning process in that, and that hopefully, by the grace of God, all things will turn out well in the end because for the first time in your life, you realize, how imperfect you truly are.