"You Spin Me Right 'Round Baby Right 'Round"

                 I found myself practically begging and pleading, close to the point of possible tears (not really, but kind of) with my 3+ year old toddler earlier this week to please lower the 'amperage' on her 'fidget machine' and wondering to myself about the real clinical statistic of new toddler parents actually losing their bag of 'groceries' upstairs. I mean really folks. The parents of these kiddies don't get to 'punch out' (of the proverbial time clock) and go home. Even most Grandmas and Grandpas get to eventually retreat to their home of relative quiet (Duh! They're GRANDparents, right?!). That is something that I don't remember very well. Quiet, that is.  Wh--wh--what's quiet like, anyway? How's quiet doing? I sure haven't seen him in a while. Actually, did I ever know him? Heh, heh. Yes, I get quiet in the middle of the night, but this is quiet time taken at my own expense. 

            As sure as phases must come and go, we--Shayla's mother and I--have joined the pack of parents that are more than willing to let these days of 3-4 yr. old super persistent resistance just go sliding by. Yes, I treasure them; especially certain aspects, but being asked the same question ten times over in quick succession...and giving the same answer ten times over begins to really show the opacity  of my nervous system's equilibrium. I don't know what Japanese water torture feels like, but if I did this would be the kiddie version enacted on the feeble minds of their parents. 

           Trying to reason with a 3+ yr. old when they're tired and are not at all in the mood for listening to anything and their whims are all over the place is like being in a cage with an animal that has 3 times your energetic endurance, doesn't like you and at the same time is clumsy to the point of self-inflicting injury. It's a bizarre combination of factors. You can't exactly rest, yet it's not full on engagement at all times. You have to maintain that type of readiness that I imagine is enlisted in the military. Come to think of it, combat training would be a great prerequisite for up and coming parents. They could take it as a class at their local Birth Training Facility alongside and in addition to Lamaze and whatever else.  As a parent to a toddler you have to be poised to sprint, fly, duck, nip, tuck and roll or jump at any moment without warning. There is no 'memo' that gets sent out! Oh, pardon me,  yes there is a 'memo' and it says, "NOW"!

             This type of energy makes you tired even if you don't leave the house. Quite ironic really. It's such a workout, yet not that many calories get burned. How does that figure exactly??

             Mommy comes home and asks, "So what did y'all do today?" and I say, "you mean in addition to keeping her from harming me or herself, all the while playing, cleaning (up each mess) and cooking for her, myself, and you"? Not much really. Not much at all.