This morning one of those 'Uh ohs' dawned on me as I was parenting our 4 year old daughter. It was one of those situations where she repeated something back to me that she has heard me and her mother say to her from time to time. A phrase that is only appropriate coming from a parent to a child and never the other way.
I asked her a question for the second time, apparently not hearing her answer the first time and she said "I don't want to say it again.", and it was with a slight sense of frustration! That was it! MY child was certainly not going to get away with speaking to me that way! I immediately hauled her off to her room for a 'time out'! This was simply not acceptable.
Once in her room, I explained that she is never to respond to mommy or daddy with that kind of retort. I think that she got it. I hope so! I realize that she is just trying on us something that we have said to her on more than one occasion, but still, that is just totally unacceptable. I think that it was the right move, even though at the time that it may have been a little shocking to her. I hope that it was. I think that that is how we all learn what the right and wrong ways of child to parent interactions are. I think that if I would have gently talked to her about it that she would quickly forget the incident, but it is my hope that because of the definite negative reaction that she got that it will stick in her little mind. I admit that it was quite a shock for me to have my little 4 year old daughter tell me that she had already said it once and did not want to repeat herself. Whoa!! That was a blow that I do not want to experience again! I realize in retrospect that her mom and I have been 'discussing' things with her too often. We need to take our parenthood back to the Oligarchy that it is. This is no democracy kid! Not at all! In terms of 'single child' households, I would imagine that there are other parents who have experienced this exact same thing: that because their child is the only 'child' that they get some kind of equal 'democratic' say as to what goes on in the house, and I'm sorry kid, but it just isn't like that. I wish that parenthood didn't involve things like this, but the simple truth is that it does and there seems to be no way around that. I guess that it comes with the territory; that's most certainly what we're learning.
I asked her a question for the second time, apparently not hearing her answer the first time and she said "I don't want to say it again.", and it was with a slight sense of frustration! That was it! MY child was certainly not going to get away with speaking to me that way! I immediately hauled her off to her room for a 'time out'! This was simply not acceptable.
Once in her room, I explained that she is never to respond to mommy or daddy with that kind of retort. I think that she got it. I hope so! I realize that she is just trying on us something that we have said to her on more than one occasion, but still, that is just totally unacceptable. I think that it was the right move, even though at the time that it may have been a little shocking to her. I hope that it was. I think that that is how we all learn what the right and wrong ways of child to parent interactions are. I think that if I would have gently talked to her about it that she would quickly forget the incident, but it is my hope that because of the definite negative reaction that she got that it will stick in her little mind. I admit that it was quite a shock for me to have my little 4 year old daughter tell me that she had already said it once and did not want to repeat herself. Whoa!! That was a blow that I do not want to experience again! I realize in retrospect that her mom and I have been 'discussing' things with her too often. We need to take our parenthood back to the Oligarchy that it is. This is no democracy kid! Not at all! In terms of 'single child' households, I would imagine that there are other parents who have experienced this exact same thing: that because their child is the only 'child' that they get some kind of equal 'democratic' say as to what goes on in the house, and I'm sorry kid, but it just isn't like that. I wish that parenthood didn't involve things like this, but the simple truth is that it does and there seems to be no way around that. I guess that it comes with the territory; that's most certainly what we're learning.
