Driving for miles in a closed car with our toddler has led us to the inevitable place of realizing that we need to get our child some kind of portable gaming platform. Yes, we've played 'I Spy'. Yes, we've answered all basic information gathering questions at least 30 times over. After about the 200th "Daddy Daddy, Mommy Mommy...!" we see that there will be no semblance of peace. Our child is a sleep 'resister' and continues with the eternal questioning until we are about 3 exits away from our final destination; then,....she sleeps. Okay..., it's funny I have to admit. So sleep, and then in about 5 minutes we'll have to wake you to go inside Nana's house. (She'll sleep good tonight for sure.)
I can see that my job as her dad will carry a different kind of weight to it: the heft of not always pleasing her by telling her what she wants to hear. This has a bit of a duplicitous effect on me. One of a tad of sadness for knowing that I will not always be 'liked', one for which you well-seasoned parents are all too familiar with! It doesn't make me hesitate in my duties however, but it does give me pause if even for flashes here and there.
Our job as parents is one rife of being the one (or one of the ones, in addition to 'mom' :) ) to clear the murk and haze that comes with that natural attempt at subterfuge that we humans utilize in order to 'get what we want'. Although this is natural, it doesn't mean that it's right or that it can be allowed to go unchecked. Being 'The Father' however carries a bit of a certain kind of parental 'call to action' that being 'The Mom' doesn't call to. Yes, moms can do it, and will do it, but for many it doesn't come as 'natural' or it isn't seen or perceived by the child in the same way as the same instruction coming from 'Dad'.
Maybe 'Dad' doesn't want to be 'the heavy' or 'the enforcer' or whatever, but he has to be for the sake of the child. Maybe dad wants to be liked all the time, but in order for that to happen he'd have to 'give in' in places where he should not, say "yes" in places where he should say "I'm sorry, no". So, for all those dads out there who want to remain perpetual friends with their kids....I feel your pain. As I'm personally coming to realize, that's just not possible. Interesting as it is, our job calls us to a higher calling of one of teaching and guiding our children in what will help them to live a fulfilling and happy life later on in adulthood, for if we fail in that then they shall surely be ill-equipped to Be truly Happy, which is our Greatest Hope for them, the Jewels of Our Life.
Being 'Dad' is a Great Blessing and Joy and an even Greater Responsibility: that of a service that, in moments, takes you off of the 'friends list' and places you in that purgatory of "and this is my Dad" place that you hope you don't live in long each time it happens. It's Incredible how children can make you so vulnerable and how you so desperately want their favor and how desperately they want your's, even when they tell you they don't! God Bless You Fathers! What a Job! Thank you.