daddyville

There are times when you step back and take a look at yourself and your life and see the station you are in and go, "Now, that's something. I really didn't see myself being here five years ago. I thought that I was going to Peru. Hmmm. How'd that happen? Must've been following a different map than I thought". :) I see how my life has drastically changed and how it will never, ever be the same. It will never 'snap back' like a rubber band. It has forever changed, for I have walked through a dimensional doorway to a different life: the life of being a Father. It's really a Wholly Different Life and nothing will be the same ever again. Life has taken on a new pitch, as it were. Good for me, I was bored with the way life was. Well...I don't EVER have to worry my little head about being bored ever again, except maybe thirty years hence, should Spirit see fit that I'm still walking the Earth at that time.
I was speaking with a good friend the other day and I was asking him whether a certain 'stage' that my daughter (who is 35mos. old) is going through would ever end. I asked, "Tell me it gets better, doesn't it"? He kind of laughed. He's got a daughter who's eleven now, I think. So I figure he knows a little, right (and what I'm dealing with is still probably relatively fresh in his memory since his daughter is only eleven or so)? He, half laughing, then sobering up after halfway clearing his throat says in a very composed manner, "It's not so much that it gets better. You just get used to the flow of it. The 'stages' and the different challenges change, but more than anything you change; you get accustomed to the flow of it".
You know, I have to say here that all parents that I have talked to pretty much sing the same tune. Nobody has said, "it gets easier" although that's really what I had hoped to hear, but every body says with big smiles on their faces, "and yeah, isn't it Great"!? I reply, "yes, particularly when she's asleep". haha...hehehe...hahaha..(smile)...(deep sigh). Those parents of you out there know that of which I speak. It's Great,..and Hard, and Hard and Great the sum of which is a Beauty that turns on the tears it is so Indescribable. I have never been so touched in all my life and here on out is, in all likelyhood a broadening and a deepening of that Intial Touch of the Divine. Hopefully, I'll still think of it as Divine thirty years from now. On the surface, I'll probably go back and forth on that a little from time to time.....just to keep my sanity, you understand.
So in the process of the children changing as they pass through their 'stages' of development, we as parents change permanently and deeply through being their Caretakers in this Journey of Human Growth. Raising a child (or certainly children) is a fresh and alive world where excitement and surprise are served up fresh daily!
I now have a great sense of compassion for parents now that I am one. What I used to judge as disheveled or disorganized or hectic, now in light of firsthand experience, was nothing more than adults raising children. Yes, it will be messy. These are little people discovering their world and what it means to be here, so of course they're going to 'color outside the lines'. That's their job! A child's behavior is not as easily 'guided' as you may think. I've come to respect
the Art of Parenting, for that's what it is....an Art. I remember that I used to think, "Why will those people not 'control' their child?" or, "I wish those parents would make their kid stop crying"! On and on it would go in my
head. The plain and simple truth is that it's just Not that simple. Now, I know and I'm so happy that I do.

Shayla's mom and I have pledged not to give processed sugar to our 35 mo. old baby girl except on 'special dispensation'. We do give it to her on these occasions, but are almost immediately sorry for doing so. Ice cream has been the treat of choice, but we are quickly narrowing it's use in the allowed regimen. It's really remarkable how profound and quick the metamorphosis can be!
It takes all the calm out of her and replaces it with this mania that will not be controlled or lulled into the background. She becomes defiant in the extreme, and actually garners more behavior modification protocols for herself than she ever otherwise does. It's amazing how much of a different effect this substance has on children.
This discovery is prompting a further evolution in her diet because not only do we care for her, but we also care for ourselves as well. If Shayla is happy, then we are happy also. Fruit sugar does not seem to elicit the same type of behavior in her (that I've noticed), however she cannot consume that to uncensored levels either without ill effect. All sugar must be monitored. The when and how much is very important.
I found myself earlier tonight vowing once again that 'sweets' need to be monitored with religious attention. Yes, we paid for it tonight. She was given ice cream in the early evening and she turned out to be a Non-stop incorrigible chatterbox all the way to bed time. Five or six hours of this cranketty crank crankyness makes one (as a parent) think long and hard about when, where, and how much to dole out when it comes to sweets. It's easy when you've had a rough evening of it with your little Satan-possesed sweetheart to decide that they will never again, so-long-as-they-live-under-your-roof (kind of rant) know the taste of the evil white stuff, but we all know that is like waging a war against oxygen---Ain't gonna happen. :) Censorship, I think is the best policy, and what a good behavior modification leverage tool this could turn out to be!! :) That may sound like irony, but I've got news for you. It is when you look up close, but when you stand back and look at the bigger picture...it isn't. We've got to give the 'devil' his due, so we'll work with it.
I've heard of parents waging a holy war on sugar, but how exactly does that all play out? I mean, let's face it. Your kids are not always going to be with you--school, daycare, friends' houses, by themselves (later on), etc. You could go totally gray just lightly thinking about all the protocols that would need to be put into place and then monitored and kept up with. ....The sugar police...Yuk. We don't want to be those people.
We hope that we can teach our child a sense of moderation as time goes by. We have to outline that now by presenting good, consistent rolemodeling in the routine dietary. Perhaps some of that will become habit for her later. Perhaps by filling the need to teach her about good dietary habits we shall learn about it as well.

Here's a few pictures of Shayla opening a few presents at Aunt Jane's (Christina's aunt) house. There are other assorted pictures of some of the family. We got there at the tail end of the celebration and so some folks had already left. We were on our way back from Houston when we got the call to assemble. :) I never say no to lamb roast and home made chicken pot pie. :) Yuuuuumm.... Lick, lick, smack, smack.

Help! My relatives are spoiling my child silly! Lucky for us parents we are the innocent bystanders on this one. :)

Shayla's Great Aunt and Uncle Paula and Ken took her to Toys-R- Us today and bought her whatever she said that she wanted!! Lucky for us she wasn't fully hip to it, so that shyness that was there this year will likely not be there next year! :) I don't know if the Aunt and Uncle in question realize that they birthed a 'tradition' this day, but that's for them to come to grips with. :) Hehe. They don't have any kids of their own, so.....maybe this is their offering? :)
It was sweet of them and Shayla had a blast!!