The Politics of Children

Now I understand about a child's use of politics. These little beings don't understand much in the way of political science and yet.....They Do. Indeed,....they Do!!
I have become sharply aware of this truth through the behaviors of my 35 mo. old daughter, Shayla. She is the sweetest thing and yet so smart that it becomes painfully poignant when other relatives are around. I think way back to when I was a kid and remember the relief that I felt when my Grandma or my Uncle or Aunt would give me some liberty or allowance that I was not normally granted---a fresh air of freedom in the arms of my relatives! I remember that, even to this day. One of my daughter's bibs says something to the effect of, "What Happens at Grandma's House, Stays at Grandma's House"!! That's the Spirit!! Hehe!
This is the benediction of children and the frustration of parents, but it's perfect how it is. I have to keep reminding myself of that as I reassert my authority and place in the mind of my child after the relatives go back home. "Yes, I am Still your Father and Yes, You still Do have to Do what I ask of You."
They are little bears for a little while once you folks leave: resisting authority, talking back. They would throw a Protest March if they knew how!!
God Bless the Relatives! They help me to get better at my Job. :) "Hey Shayla, give me that Rudder", I remark as the door closes. :)

My 3 Year Olds First Bold Foray into The Contents of Daddy's Room

My (almost) 3 year old daughter Shayla, on occassion, sleeps with me in my room on those mornings when she gets up before I am able to function. She goes back to sleep most of the time. This morning was an exception.
As far as three year olds go, I imagine that she is a very amenable and adaptable one. I'm not sure how right or wrong I am on this one, but I think she exists on the side of the spectrum that is of the very sweet and co-operative (most of the time) kind.
She had never done this before or as thoroughly, but today she got up the nerve (I guess that's how to put it.) to go through my things and investigate the contents of the things on the side of the room that were closest to where she was on the bed. In times before she has just picked up a thing or two and checked it out, but today she forraged ahead with the apparent energy of a true explorer. She opened things that were closed and rearranged the contents on my shelves on that side of my bed. Yes, I remained sleeping while the first 95% of this happened. I'm sure all in all it didn't take too long. I awoke to find her having emptied the contents of several items while also replacing some containers with other contents that she deemed more appropriate. It was a mess. How nice of her not to wake me up in the process. Thanks for not disturbing my beauty sleep Shayla. :) I sleep like a rock most of the time, differently though when she's in there too, but nonetheless, soundly. Luckily, there's nothing of any real danger to a 3 year old in my room.
The long and the short of it is just that she's forcing me to clean up a little bit in there. That can't be bad. She did break one thing, but it can be repaired. Sent off to be repaired, that is. Other than that, no harm done. We talked about it. I think she's getting the point that she needs to ask before touching other people's things whether it be mommy's or daddy's or anyone else's: Property rights. Our discussion was essentially about property rights. I think she got some of it. I hope so, anyway.

Having Compassion On Your Parents

             There nothing (in my current opinion) that inspires a stronger sense of compassion for your parents and all they did---blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifices for you-- than raising a child of your own. If one has ever harbored any sense of blame (which I have not!) toward one's parents,  this experience would single handedly wipe that pretty much clean,...If you let it. :)
              Mom, I Thank You So Much for what you did for me!! I am humbled by the thought of all that you went through. It brings tears to my eyes to think of those hardships, some I remember, but many I do not (blocking it out?) although we both went 'through' them. Thank you for going the distance, so that I can be here today, knowing you and smiling into your eyes, loving you. It means the world to me; the choices you made were perfect and fine. Sure, many were challenging, but that's Life Itself, isn't it? You are and were always a Good Mom---Know that. My mom was a single parent. She's a Super Mom alright! She had to make sacrifices X2! Folks, that's hard stuff. I can tell you that and I was just the kid. Imagine how it was for her. Some of you know, having done it yourself. God Bless you.
             I have to preface what I have to say next with telling you that my mom has always said that I was a good kid. She has never went back on that although I have asked the question "Was I?", many times since and her answer has always been the same, "You were a great kid (period!)!" No disclaimer has ever been added. When I got into my teens that 'great kid' shine had it's days of tarnish for sure as I distinctly remember her telling me, "When you grow up, I pity the person who's going to live with you Sean because you are hard to live with"! I must tell you that right around that time I was also taking some psych courses in high school and that I was Really excited about it and loving the study. We were studying all kinds mental pathologies and so, of course I'd come home and want to practice my diagnostic abilities on my mom. She was not too keen on that, even though I was just trying to 'help' her. I'd say, "Well today, it looks like your experiencing a little bit of this ______ disorder and judging by the way you're sounding right now, it might also be a little of ______." Needless to say, it was not very well received. What a surprise! Lol! In those days, when I was between 16-18 yrs. old, there weren't many conversations between us that Did go well. Fortunately we got through that and got closer again.
             I think life has a funny way of re-teaching you things via your kids that you might have somehow missed on the first run-through yourself. It's funny how it works, I think, but very thorough. Life doesn't 'miss' anything.
              Mom, I'm not sure if these words were ever quoted by you or not, but they could've well have been. (I know Bill Cosby said them at least once.) I'm sure that they have been by many parents to their kids, but here they are echoing in mind, "I hope that when you grow up you have kids that are Just like you." I smile when I think of this because it's just parents wanting you to see the flip side of the coin. It's hard and they want you to see what it is like to be on the other side of the equation--to be in Their Shoes...for once.  ......"Hi Mom!  (Waving and Smiling from the 'other side') I'd have to say you got your wish. Shayla is just like me. Yep, 'fraid so. Maybe that means I can know a little of what to expect? Hmmm, maybe a little. But I was a good kid, right? (laughing)" By the way, I do have a great child, but saying that she can be stubborn would be putting it mildly on some days.
             Being a parent is a hard job and parents do the best they can with what they 'have' (in some cases they don't 'have' much in the way of those internal and/or external resources). Maybe their judgment is poor at times or their self-discipline weak at times, but they still deserve compassion, forgiveness, and respect for the enormity of the job itself.
         Thank You Mom, I Love You.



Shayla's Bigwheel Success

We have been waiting for this day. Although she has successfully ridden her Bigwheel before, today she was actually turning the wheel in order to steer--not on all accounts, but on most. Hooray for you Shayla. There was a little of the back and forth peddaling, but mostly we were groovin' on down the sidewalk.
It makes me harken back to the days when I was learning to pedal with greater and greater success. I didn't know that I had those memories,...but there they were. :)