You never tire of Dirt? Not for now anyway?

Watching my four year old go to town with dirt amazes me. It seems that they never tire of it or run out of ways to use it and manipulate it. They never get tired of getting dirty either, stands to reason I suppose. It goes from this to the teenage years when they use all the hot water in order to be clean enough. I hear rumors of 3-4 showers a day at times. Yikes!

Mommy, Mommy

Now, my four year old openly tells me that she prefers mommy over me. I know that these things shift around with a fair amount of regularity. They already have during her four young years up to this point. I ask myself why. The best things that I can come up with are two primary reasons:

1. I don't play 'dolls' often enough with her. I have to admit that it's hard for me to have a great deal of longevity when it comes to animal and doll roll-playing games. I'm good for 10 minutes or so here and there, but that's about it. I am more inclined to play kiddie learning games with her on her iPod touch and while she enjoys those, it's really the games of make believe that enthrall her the most. I wonder if I am just a defunct father when it comes to 4 year old barbie doll games or that I just don't have the amount of active interest and imagination that is required? I keep telling myself that I will be glad when she grows past 'certain stages'--namely the ones that keep us on the floor talking about whose pony likes sugar and whose prefers stevia in their imaginary tea that we have just made. I know all too well that these days will later be revealed to be the 'days of innocence' when just about anything would delight her fancy, and yet, try as I might to convince myself, I still look forward to the days when I will sit with her and talk about more complex subject matters and be able to understand her responses as well as not have to answer the basic "why, why, why?" about everything under the sun. I really don't like to talk that much about why the moon is round and why dogs are brown and why some have spots while others don't, and whether all that is 'fair' or not. Why not? Because I just don't know the answers to these and 100s of other mystical science questions. Go figure. One day she'll discover that her daddy is not a walking encyclopedia, and when she does, then she'll be reciting Google search results to me, and believe it or not...at that point I'll totally be into it. 'I think' anyway, that I'll be glad to be allowed to come off of the 'God' podium at that time as long as I don't become a miniature of my former self. Time will tell, right? .......Right. It Certainly will. (smile) I hope I am not a 'bad daddy' for thinking these things. I don't think that I am, and I try to like coloring in Bugs Bunny with crayons, but I do look forward to the day when a drinking glass stays vertically placed on the table Throughout the Whole Meal (smiling again). But I know that you cannot pick and choose these things like a buffet lunch when it comes to the development of human beings. So, I'll take what I can get and hopefully make the most of what I get served, and make the intent of keeping the prayers strong all the while. 2. I tend to be the stricter parental archetype between her mother and myself. My dad calls this "being the 'heavy' ", and while it's necessary it does also have a social side within the family's community that sometimes puts me momentarily or not so momentarily in the 'less favorite' column simply by virtue of trimming down random acts of manipulation and keeping the boundaries shored up and consistent. I try to be balanced about this and let her 'get away' with a 'black op' or two every once in a while, but not enough to give her the wrong idea--namely, that we're not looking. Nonetheless, this makes me more of a noticeable figure in the 'less favorite' category from time to time. That's okay. I love her and if that's what sometimes happens, then I'm here to weather it, because unlike other random folks.......

I'm Her Dad. ....Her Proud.....Her Happy......Dad.

The Reaction Response

Parenting is a really good teacher for helping you to streamline your native reaction response. It forces you not to react to reaction, unless of course you don't mind total anarchy and discord. The fortunate thing about that is that most of us do mind it...and that's a good thing; that helps everybody--you, your kid, and your household. Your child doesn't yet have that skill set (not ours anyway at four years old...Some people never get it no matter how far down the timeline they progress.), so you have to show them. What I've found is that I've had, and continue to, work on this very powerful human relations skill that is extremely effective at side stepping drama no matter where you are.

Home is 'where the Heart is' and home is also, appropriately I think, the place where we tend to be the most sensitive to perceived insult or ego fraying, and hence is the best place to start to learn and practice this very valuable skill in human relations.

Who is better qualified to teach you about this than your own kid.? Amen.

The Great Balance of Opposites

Being a father is really, to me, quite a humorous experience. I think small children----or maybe I should say 'young' perhaps instead of small, are quite funny, and disturbingly horrific all in the same day. This is a sort of emotional roller coaster that has taken quite a bit of getting used to. In fact, I don't really think that I am used to it even just yet. Perhaps I never shall be. I didn't know, until recently, that love and repulsion were so closely related, but alas since dogs don't go "meow" and rocks still fall to the Earth when I release them from a height----It Is Most Certainly So. Do you wonder how any of that equals the later?? Me too,... but it does. Moving on.... Parents of toddlers, as I've discovered, have to be Really, REALLY on their game each minute of each day or the little Tazmanian(s) reap(s) that special kind of chaos that makes them and them alone smile that unique smile of satisfaction on the inside. Does this sound whiny or harsh? I suppose it shouldn't though because this is just one of the realities of boundary 'wars'. Yes, that's exactly what it is and let there be no mistake, it's tough, because your opponent doesn't tire easily; it usually takes about 12 good hours to ware out our little firecracker of a daughter. Oh yeah, in case you're wondering, she's 4 years old. She's four and going on a Master's in Systems Management. Didn't see that coming, but I guess that I should have. You give these people six inches and they want five feet. I really never thought that I would help to create a person that would ride around with me in the car without being able to see the road or even know the local vehicular laws and yet feel that it was their bound duty to tell me how to drive. Well, it's pretty funny alright. I suppose I'm not the only one that gets this kind of treatment. Hmm, I guess .that's a comforting thought. I'll let you in on a little secret weapon of these people: Repetition. That's the name of their game. If they ask it or do it over and over for long enough I guess they just figure that you'll give up eventually so that you can be assimilated in to their greater and vaster plan of will. Hah, isn't it interesting how often parenting tales wind up sounding a lot like science fiction, even when it's not?? I think so. :)