daddyville

I used to think that bribery was a parental cop-out when I was in my early twenties or before when I used to see mothers using bribery on their kids in the grocery store. You know the kind of think I'm speaking of. It's the whole "if you behave yourself while we're in here we can pick up that movie afterwards that you've been wanting to see", or for younger kids it goes something like, "Hey, do you want some ice cream? I know you do, so do as I ask okay?".
I distinctly remember my mom bribing my younger brother to clean his room with the promise of ice cream. I told her how unnecessary that I thought that was. "He should just clean it up because you're his mom and you're asking him to", I said to her in my matter-of-fact teenage logic. If only the world were that simple, right? If only that the questioning of authority, parental or otherwise wasn't a biological pastime, that might be true. However, things being what they are I now see the practical wisdom in the 'shortcut' that bribery is. Of course it's a shortcut! Of course my 3 yr. old daughter should do what I ask Because I'm her Father and I am asking her to do it. Next thing I know she'll be asking for somekind of Notarized statement of Command from someone,...Who I don't know, Grandma, Nana? It wouldn't surprise me.
Today I found myself whipping out a little can of bribery, although it was true, "The sooner you go for your nap and Actually go to Sleep, the sooner you will get up and the sooner we will go to visit Shay and Quillan (her cousins whom she loves)!". It was true and it was natural!!
Aaahh... I must be coming along as a dad. :)

We haven't been to Amy's in a while. Boy, is this fun!!

The grocery store (except for Whole Foods back in the day--20yrs ago) is not really the first place on my list to go for my social fix--- since I'm such a domesticated animal at this stage of the kiddie raising game, but my 3 yr old daughter has forced a change on that front. I still don't go there for 'social time', but I do talk to a fair number of folks while we shop, which I would practically never otherwise do. She must feel remiss in her public duty somehow unless she says, "Hi", "Hello", or (the funny one) "What are you doing?"(That last one really cracks me up.), to everyone we get within 10' of or if we stop long enough for her to start a conversation. I usually answer that last one for them with the surprising response, "They're shopping, Honey". As you can imagine, this makes me an even faster shopper than I already am, which is saying something for sure. I am blowing it a little out of proportion here, but it is really funny.
Thankfully too, she's got a sixth sense about people as well. I've watched it in action, which has given me a little reassurance, but I'm sure we'll have to work on that as time goes on. Things like this make me enquire within because in informing my daughter of how to Be in the world I also do not wish to scare her of it as too much of that kind of thinking can also hamper healthy development. A Healthy Caution is what I wish to teach and, of course with each new environment there will come into play a healthy set of protocols. I've seen, as you might've too, the extremes of this kind of conditioning. I'm sure, if anything I'll err on the side of a protective nature and hope the best for my child--development wise.
Even in thinking about the future, all of this is still so cute and makes me smile from ear to ear.

Getting my 3 yr. old daughter to eat when she needs to eat and what she should eat can be to wage a war of sorts that many may well wave the white flag on. As a parent I feel fine waving that flag every once in a while, but not on a daily basis! Yes, it's true that they will eat once their blood sugar is at an all time low, and it's also true that they can be destructive little monsters by that point.
A case in point of the above synopsis would be this morning. Shayla was not interested in real food for dinner last night ie., not crackers or something with sugar in it. At this point she craves carbohydrates and that's all she really wants, except for the intermitent piece of broccoli or cauliflower. It's frustrating for us to say the least. This morning when she got up she was practically inconsolable. Once she had some oatmeal she was fine.
As parents we kind of get it coming and going. :) The kid is like, "No, I'm not going to eat what you want me to and when you want me to. That is up to me (they think). Also, when I don't eat what and when I should I'm, of course going to give you hell about it later because I'm going to feel like crap, but you know Dad, that's in your job desciption as a parent and it's in my job description to make sure that I fulfill my job properly as your kid. Also, the fact that I'm a lot like you should make you feel at home and not disturb you. Cheers Daddy!" ....so on we go. :)