These are not fun, I'm here to tell you. Tantrums are not fun on their own, but mix with that verbal skills that are still in the making and you have a very frustrating time for your coming-up-on- three year old, not to mention her parents which are desperately trying to understand her irritated, expressive rants.
Just earlier this week we realized that we needed to come up with a decisive, solid and dependable response to our daughter when she expresses herself in such a violent manner. By violent I mean loud, strong, and radical----basically a 'meltdown'. These happen most often when she is not getting what she wants. Sometimes it happens because she is not being understood properly, however those are minimal.
Loud, public ie., on the kitchen or living room floor tantrums are not something we wish to foster. Expressing yourself is one thing; publicly coming apart at the seams in a hurtful way, is a different animal altogether. We quicly realized, "Uh oh. We better do something about this possible pattern and Fast." In my mind I saw this little vignette down the road of a situation like this left alone and untouched and man, it was not pretty.
So far, so good. We've implemented a few boundary principles and directional cues. We did a little research and polling of our own from other parents. We have implemented what we learned with pleasing results thus far. The opportunities to test out such theories at this age are numerous. It's a time of compact experience: a lot happens in a short span.
Shayla is such a darling child and so sweet. She's a very quick learner as well. There's nothing wrong with being head strong. It just has to be directed in the right way. Yes, there certainly are right ways and wrong ways to do it. She's certainly teaching me a lot about life....and God, coincedentally.
This is such a poignant way to learn what it must be like for the Higher Powers working with Us. Comical, to tell you the truth, in a funny and sometimes not so funny way.
There is faith, hope and love, but the Greatest of these is Love.
It's already been the better part of 3 years that Shayla has been with us. Here's a little video clip that I shot of her about 1 1/2 years ago...
Having a child of your own is like anteing up your Life. No 'if's, 'and's or 'but's about it. It IS to take a straight look in the mirror and Clean Up your act. You thought that you knew what responsibility was, but that was only an idea, as you now Know. This is Real responsibility with Real consequences and Real benefits. This is the Real Deal. Real Life. This is what being a parent has shown me thus far.
Play 'Adult' time is over. This is BE an Adult time. Sound intense? Well, that's because it is. You discover very quickly that as an adult you have to prioritize what you will allow yourself to spend energy on. Many things are not worth your investment of energy that at one time you were more than happy to spend away upon. Choosing your 'battles' is one thing that I think one surely learns whether we are talking about kids or your partner. Many expenditures of energy are simply not worth it.
As a parent you become a good 'distiller'. Yes, distiller in the sense that you gain the ability to get to the kernel of a problem very quickly, out of necessity. Why? Because you don't have the time to flounder around--that's the kids job, which they know, by the way.
Fact or Fiction? This is another component of parental sleuthing that you come to know quite well: deciphery. When is a 'yes' actually a yes, but more than that and also even more prominent an issue is the attempted parental 'hoodwinking'. It's kind of fun in the begining, but quickly looses it's novelty status, especially once the child realizes that they can pull it off successfully. Then what happened once on a clear day multiplies like some new virus. They're smart...and they're only going to get smarter! That's just the truth of it. So....me? I'm buckling down with extra high potency B vitamins and Ginkgo Biloba, green tea, the latest self help books, and good defensive 'one-liners'. I'm already working on an underground shelter for when the teenage years hit. For Me!! Shhhhhhhh! (whispering)Nobody knows.....
There is faith, hope and love, but the Greatest of these is Love.
Play 'Adult' time is over. This is BE an Adult time. Sound intense? Well, that's because it is. You discover very quickly that as an adult you have to prioritize what you will allow yourself to spend energy on. Many things are not worth your investment of energy that at one time you were more than happy to spend away upon. Choosing your 'battles' is one thing that I think one surely learns whether we are talking about kids or your partner. Many expenditures of energy are simply not worth it.
As a parent you become a good 'distiller'. Yes, distiller in the sense that you gain the ability to get to the kernel of a problem very quickly, out of necessity. Why? Because you don't have the time to flounder around--that's the kids job, which they know, by the way.
Fact or Fiction? This is another component of parental sleuthing that you come to know quite well: deciphery. When is a 'yes' actually a yes, but more than that and also even more prominent an issue is the attempted parental 'hoodwinking'. It's kind of fun in the begining, but quickly looses it's novelty status, especially once the child realizes that they can pull it off successfully. Then what happened once on a clear day multiplies like some new virus. They're smart...and they're only going to get smarter! That's just the truth of it. So....me? I'm buckling down with extra high potency B vitamins and Ginkgo Biloba, green tea, the latest self help books, and good defensive 'one-liners'. I'm already working on an underground shelter for when the teenage years hit. For Me!! Shhhhhhhh! (whispering)Nobody knows.....
There is faith, hope and love, but the Greatest of these is Love.
