At 3 1/2 years of age literally everything is, "I'll do it myself" when it comes to our daughter Shayla. Naturally, right? Well, yes, of course HOWEVER, sometimes the element of risk is quite high and we just can't cut her loose on reality and reality on her at every turn, if you know what I mean. The price of this refusal must be gauged each time. Like any parent, we want to support our daughter in her growth and learning and at the same time protect her--a parent's job. We try, for the most part to go halfway. I think we do really well with this, but occasionally OUR 'halfway' and HER 'halfway' don't match up. Naturally, a lot of the time she doesn't want any overshadowing when, in fact it can't be any other way: She's Three.
A good example of the constant need for the exercise of good judgment on our part--Shayla's mother and I, let me be clear--was earlier tonight at our neighborhood coffee shop. I must say here that Shayla at 3+ is not the most stable kid on two feet. I say that with a lot of love. What 3 year old is 'securely' stable on their feet?? So whether she's standing or sitting must be taken into consideration when she's saddled with the task of doing a particular thing, whatever that thing may be, as well as how much in the way of parental monitoring resources her mother and I have available to expend at that particular moment. Tonight at the coffee shop we were outside on the front patio and her hot bagel was there on a plate waiting to be covered in the cream cheese that was sitting beside it in it's little plastic container.
Scene as follows:
A Hot bagel on a porcelain plate with a stainless steel butter knife straddling the plate, a small plastic container of cream cheese sitting on said plate with the plate resting securely on a small side table and a wobbly 3 year old in tennis shoes that she is still getting accustomed to walking smoothly in hungrily desiring to "do it myself", meaning she wishes to apply the cream cheese to the bagel on her own. Of Course. Typical of any growing animal with self awareness.
At this point we had just gotten settled on the front porch of the joint. We had sat down, had set down our coffees, and arranged our bags and even before we were done with all that she had already gotten to know the pebble embedded cement at our feet by falling down once just now because as she turned to move away from mama for a moment she forgot that mama has legs too, that are also attached to feet which need a little 'real estate' on the porch in front of her. Boom! It wasn't a bad fall but.....you'd think that a little happening of that nature would slow one small mammal down just a little. Nope. Not here, not now. She jumps up, moves over to the side table next to the chair where her mother is starting to put her cream cheese on her bagel and says, "I wanna do that, I wanna do that, I wanna do that"!! I take one look at her, dusting off her knees from her fresh fall, the glint of the sun on the stainless steel butter knife as her mother is applying the condiment. I watch her excited feet dancing around restlessly beneath her in anticipation, the rubber on her shoes periodically catching on the half buried layer of large agate in the concrete and I say, catching her mother's eyes of agreement, "no, not today honey". She accepts the directive and I am glad for I know all too well that she doesn't really like 'half-participation'. She wants to do the whole thing, and on this day at this moment seeing what I'm seeing, it's not going to happen. There are no plastic knives and paper plates, and therefore no "I wanna do it myself" is going to make it all the way through the channels of approval.
It turned out to be a win/win because everyone was smiling. Shayla was happy eating the bagel and we were happy that she was happy....and did not get hurt in arriving at that moment. Aaaahhh.
